depressed as a dog so for a moment i thought of getting some motivation off the internet.

oh, the idea alone makes me want to lie in fetus position on the floor of my room, sobbing.

it's not that i don't have friends which i can bother with my lively stories of all things fucked up in my life.

i know loads of people and a few even love me and care about me.

in situations like this i'm just very good in feeling utterly and completely alone and lost.

it drives them

CRAZY

it drives me

NUTS

i have the feeling that every conversation i start goes something

like this:

in the meanwhile they talk to this:

so i go through the day trying to cheer myself the fuck up.

(and fail miserably)

that's why i'm now going to kick my own sorry ass into the bathroom which i haven't seen since the day before yesterday.

i can't be bothered but it can't be bad to be clean....

*update*

my hubby, the one i am arguing with all the time, just came home from his lunch break to bring me food. he knows i feel miserable and food is not on my to do list.

he loves me.

and i'm glad he's showing it.

because

i love him

and 

i love food